To
those who closely follow trends that occur in Japan the talk of
population decline will inevitably come up. As reported masterfully
in this article, modern marriage has become increasingly unappealing. Traditionally,
a man could find a good career to provide while his wife stayed at home
to raise the children. Now that many women have greater access to the
job market they are choosing to forego marriage altogether, which has
created a steady decline in population. Given that a great majority
of people in Japan are now engaged in a career, there exist few
opportunities to form a “love marriage”. In the Western world a
relationship formed upon love seems to be the primary motive for
marriage. However in many Eastern countries, arranged marriages have
historically been common practice.
In Japan the
concept is known as 'Omiai', that is, arranged marriage. It is
becoming increasingly popular given the modern situation that many
Japanese people find themselves in. With great emphasis placed upon
economic success often times thoughts of a family become low
priority. Traditionally, arranged marriages worked in local areas
where people knew each other through family connections. Later the
heads of the families determined marital arrangements that would best
suite the long term goals of the family prosperity without
considering the individual as much. Now families or individuals can
hire a go between to connect interested parties. After viewing a
database full of potential suitors each party must agree to meet up.
They then meet successively and determine whether to further the
process to marriage. If interest is determined the man will send
gifts which include an engagement ring and money. The interested
parties will then typically get married in a Shinto ceremony.
With
the divorce rates in Japan a lot lower than in the United States it
is hard to fault Omiai as a bad choice! Although it does have its
dark side. We know a woman here who under much pressure from her
family decided to go along with an Omiai only to have it end in an
unfortunate divorce as well as increased mental issues from which she
has not yet recovered. However for each sad story there are likely
stories of success. Here in Japan with such a small percentage of
Christians the practice of Omiai may not be out of the realm of
possibility for some. Although personally, I think that large annual
fellowships within denomination are a good way to meet people here in
Japan. The most important element here for the Christian minority is
to stay strong in their convictions not to marry a non-believer. Please pray that Japanese Christians would be able to remain strong
in their commitments to the Lord.
