What makes a family a family? Recently
this question has been causing conflict in Western society as
societal norms have increasingly been challenged in the ongoing
culture war. The Anglo-Saxon world view in specific constituting the
“Anglo-sphere” has at its core foundation the typical Protestant Biblical
world view of a family that comes directly from Genesis 2:24
as follows:
“Therefore shall a man leave his
father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they both
shall be one flesh.”
From this solitary verse we can gather
the necessity of monogamy, independence, and distinct male headship
over the nuclear family. From this worldview we tend to have an
individual un-egalitarian nuclear family structure in each household. People tended to move
away from their family to start a new family. A new family supported
themselves economically by not sharing housing with parents or
siblings. Though the father is considered the head of the house, he
was not generally authoritarian when it came to the decisions of his
adult children. There was no tier system of hierarchy where the
oldest son dominated the rest of the family in decisions and
inheritance once the father passed on. From this mindset came the
great expansive spirit to settle new lands, bold risk-taking, bold
creativity, innovation, and adaptation to challenges on a great
scale. In “Protestant” Christianity this led to great freedom of
choice within interpretation of the Bible through different
denominations for better or for worse. In the West in general this
also led to freedom of choices with multiple religions and opposing
ideas as opposed to one core identity that could not be questioned.
All of these characteristics are what
we traditionally in the “Anglo-sphere” understand and accept.
Even outside of this within the Western world (Latin America,
Catholic Europe, Protestant Europe, Slavic Countries, etc.) there are
many similarities and core traits that allow us to understand each
other easily. For this reason in the West we also have the tenancy to
be able to accept the gospel in a much easier way. However, there
were also weaknesses with one being that many became so
individualistic as to ignore the group completely by embracing a form
of rebellion against the system. (Think counter-culture 1960s era
thinking.) No system is without its weakness. Even today in more
urban areas people in general in the West are moving away from the traditional
nuclear family understanding.
However, what if your core idea of a
family is not bound by these Western ideas? What if your idea of
family comes from Confucianism rather than the Bible? Take this quote
for instance:
“There are three degrees of filial
piety. The highest is being a credit to our parents, the second is
not disgracing them; the lowest is being able simply to support
them.” - Confucius
In Japan, the ancient tradition of
filial-piety still strongly influences society. At the head of the
family is the father who traditionally makes all of the important
decisions including who their children marry and what they will do
for work. The eldest son is to inherit this role as family retainer
and must take it seriously without personal choice once his father
passes away. The father is in turn subservient to the larger group
community in his area or greater family if he moves to an urban area.
These families were registered with the local Buddhist temple for
legitimacy. For the Japanese for hundreds of years group loyalty
guaranteed survival on an island with limited resources and the
inward thinking mindset that it developed. In this filial-piety
system, the young were to serve their parents, often living together
in the same house, which became particularly hard for a new
daughter-in-law coming into a new group having to obey her
mother-in-law in a servant-like capacity. Rather than leave and
cleave, children were to stay and obey. Marriage was
based upon continuing the family unit (clan), not necessarily choice
or love. Arranged marriages were the norm for hundreds of years. Only
after World War Two were the introduction of the nuclear family and
Western ideas of marriage popularized leading to a weakening of the
traditional filial piety system. To this day many Japanese are
confused as to what system they should embrace. From these few
examples we can see some radical differences in the understanding of
the family unit.
Why does all of this matter? In more
ways than one when a Japanese person is introduced to the truth of
the gospel they have to consider what impact it will have upon their
filial-piety oriented family structure, which is especially powerful
in rural areas. They are taught to consider the will of the group
before the will of the self. If they go home and tell their father
that they are now Christian they often times are disowned believing
that they bring great shame to their family as well as the community
for going against the ancient traditional belief system as well as
parents wishes. Shame and loss of group connections is the ultimate
source of pain and rejection in this system. Japanese people are
taught from a young child that pleasing the group wishes is the
ultimate measure of happiness. To go against this system is to cease
to be Japanese. It is also a reason why Japanese Christians tend to
be secretive, not evangelistic, and often times turn inward when it
comes to their churches. Japanese churches tend to become a
filial-piety oriented buddy system based upon culture rather than
biblical example since they often times are overwhelmingly influenced
by their world. If they do live by the biblical model they are often
shamed by society at large as well as actively shamed from other
church members who still retain the deeply rooted filial-piety system
mindset. This mindset hinders the spread of the gospel as well as the
planting of new churches, which may be one of the reasons why the
growth of the gospel is slow here. If Westerners are hesitant to
allow their kids to spread the gospel elsewhere, how do you think
those living under the filial-piety system will feel about their
children spreading the gospel? Becoming ministers? Often times in
general Japanese know that the gospel is true, however they are just
afraid to accept it because of the dire consequences that they
perceive it will bring them. To many they would rather lose their
own soul and gain the only world that they have ever known and were
taught to embrace as the key to happiness. However, for those who
wish to reject the world and obey God there is always great reward.
Often times dedicated Japanese Christian families are some of the
most spiritual, sacrificial, and dedicated people out there due to
their up-bringing. Their respect as well as obedience to God is
great. We in the West could learn from these type of Christians. Pray
for Japan and Japanese Christians to fight the power of the world's
influence in their lives.